Tuesday, July 28, 2015

There's a new Beast in Town.

It's 5 am, I went to sleep four hours ago. Boogy Beast woke me up. Well I should say that one of my chickens impersonating Henrietta Chicken (the dog toy, squeeze one and you'll understand) woke me up. Being that I've had 4 hour of sleep I thought one of my lambs was in trouble until I heard the choir from the ducks.
Being the prepared person I am with lightning fast problem solving skills and ninja moves I didn't turn on a light. I jumped out of bed grabbed my flannel sleep shorts, tried to put both legs in one hole, fell down, tripped over two dogs and one cat all rushing through the door out of the bedroom. Spencer was certain if he kept up he would be going with me, Gus was following Spencer, and I'm not sure which cat got kicked, like I said didn't turn on the light. Sorry cat. Jammed my feet in my slip on shoes, which for once were by the door I needed them to be, grabbed the LED rechargeable Costco flash light the kind that will blind you if you look into it, and hurled myself with no pets through my back door. Ha! I made it just in time to see glowing eyes of Beasty, couldn't see the rest of it. Knew it was small enough that being armed only with a six inch plastic very bright flashlight would only be a problem if Beasty was rabid, unlikely. Gave chase but was easily lost by its stealthy moves. I almost tripped over victim, black chicken, it wasn't moving so I didn't stop. Searched for Beasty so I could throw rocks and curse it, .22 is in the house and not with me, 5 am brain is an awesome thinker. Since I couldn't find where Beasty had got to or figure out: house cat, wild cat, raccoon, fox, skunk, or new creature I went back to clean up. 
I checked the coop and did a head count, only missing black chicken laying motionless on ground. I checked everyone else, not happy to be woken up but alive with all their parts attached. When back to lump of black chicken on ground. 
I have eczema on my hands, I have a ointment I wear at night with cotton gloves and rubber gloves over those, super sexy I know. Since I'm
Already gloved up I can examine my victim for signs of what killed her. I see she still has her head which means I doubt raccoon, they usually horribly disfigure things they take plus Beasty didn't look big enough. I couldn't see any blood or wounds so I went to flip Blackie over. Blackie had other ideas and sprang to life, I nearly wet my pants. Lazarus then blindly made a break for cover. I followed talking to her to calm us both down and get close enough to grab her without falling in the dirt and embarrassing myself in front of the sheep. Blackie made it into the rabbit barn and wedged herself under some cages. After prying her out and examining her all over, she appeared to be only stunned and missing feathers so I popped her back in the coop. One last look around and I came back inside were in trying relax enough to go back to sleep for two more hours before my day starts. Again. 
Black chicken will be known as Heneretta from now on. 

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